A Lost Tooth, but Not a Lost Cause

It has been a very exciting couple of weeks here as Elijah has FINALLY lost his first tooth, waiting until he was 7 years old. After a few days of pushing against it with his tongue, the big moment occurred while he was at school, which meant he not only lost a tooth, but also gained a certificate, signed by the nurse, announcing the occasion. That night the Tooth Fairy, taking into account the rate of inflation and the tough economic times we are in, replaced the tiny tooth with two dollars and a note telling him to spend the money on anything he wanted. Elijah, being Elijah, used the money to buy a clipboard on which he has been practicing his spelling test words for school. Practical and educational...that's Sarah's genes, not mine!

Losing a tooth was not the only notable event that occurred at school recently. Sarah, concerned that some children were making fun of Elijah, wrote his teacher about it. Since bullying is such a hot-button issue at schools these days, his teacher suggested that a way be found to educate his classmates about Elijah's autism. She asked if there might be a book she could share with the class and help them understand why Elijah acts the way he does sometimes.

Dad took to the Internet and found a couple of titles that could be used. One of them, Looking After Louis, was a perfect fit. The main character, Louis, who is autistic but still mainstreamed at a public school, had many characteristics that were similar to Elijah. Louis has an adult sit with him in class, mimics the teacher and has wonderful artistic skills. He wants to play with the other boys but doesn't seem to comprehend how to do it. The narrator of the story is a little girl who is a classmate of Louis and wants to be his friend but can't understand why the rules don't seem to apply to him. At the end of the story, the children begin to see, through his art, how special Louis is and play with him like they would any other classmate. As a father of a little boy with autism who hopes each day that his son will be accepted by his peers, I admit the ending brought tears to my eyes.

But what would Elijah's classmates think? His teacher, with the assistance of the school counselor, read the book to his class while Elijah was out of the room. (His absence was not an unusual occurrence, as Elijah, who reads at a very advanced level but has trouble comprehending what he reads, goes to a reading skills room at least twice a week.)

According to the teacher and counselor, the class really seemed to understand and wanted to help. (I must give praise to Elijah's teacher whose incredible enthusiasm is only equaled by her and the counselor's empathy for Elijah's situation. They are both doing a wonderful job.) A sign-up sheet was posted for members of the class to be Elijah's "recess buddy" (it would involve playing with Elijah for the first 10 minutes of recess) and it looked like every one of them signed up to do it. Not only that, at the school book fair, at least four of his classmates made a beeline for him to say hello, with one little girl insisting that her mother, who was volunteering at the checkout area, stop what she was doing so Elijah could be introduced to her. And each greeting to Elijah was returned by our little guy with his eyes looking at the person, and if it was a female classmate, a smile from ear to ear.

Sarah and I have often said that we are lucky to have Elijah in the school system he is in, and his progress has borne that out. When we drop him off in the morning and he gets out of the car with a huge smile while running for the front door, sometimes laughing with another student, he looks like any other typical first grader. What more can a parent ask for?

Hold that Tiger

Just like the proverbial Jewish wedding, Halloween seemed to go on forever this year. Because parent-teacher conferences were scheduled for the end of the week, Elijah's school costume party and parade was held on the Wednesday before Halloween. Usually Elijah's costume is something that is bought at the last minute because of a complete lack of interest on his part. Since Star Wars and ninjas are as foreign to him as they would be to a child in a Third World country (no, that's wrong -- a child there would be more likely than Elijah to know who Luke Skywalker is), the costume-selection process this year seemed destined to be futile.

But that wasn't the case. As we went costume-hunting, Elijah shocked me by saying, "Daddy, I want to be a tiger." This was a first. Not once had he ever WANTED to be something for Halloween. My excitement was tempered, however, when I discovered that the only tiger costumes available at any local store were for either infants or women with very small waists and very long legs. Thank God for the Internet! A Google search found a costume store in New Jersey with the perfect tiger outfit, and a delighted Elijah soon had his costume, which he loved wearing and which was big hit with other felines in his class.

That was just the first time that week he wore the stripes. On Saturday, the day before Halloween, our health club held a "Spooktacular" that had all sorts of activities (including face painting, a bounce house, pumpkin decorating and pony rides) for kids. The little guy had a great time.

At last the big night arrived, and after some hugs from a very cute "Cat in the Hat," Elijah was ready to collect candy. Trick-or-treating with Elijah used to be a very quick experience. The first couple of years, it was two or three doors and then back to the house. Then last year, he realized that the more houses he went to, the more candy he would get, so we would go door to door until he would get a large candy bar (usually a Crunch Bar), and then he'd want to go home immediately to devour his gains. This year was different. He was on a mission to get candy, and lots of it.

As I tried to explain to Elijah, first you ring the doorbell, then you say "trick or treat," then allow the person to put some candy in your pumpkin (bag). You don't grab. And you thank them. Well, even the best-laid plans ....

At the first house we went to, our neighbor told Elijah to "grab as much as you want." Though he didn't do it then, the thought stuck with him, and it was a constant battle at every succeeding house as his hand reached out for the bowl brought to the door and he tried to grab a handful of candy. That was the only real problem of the night (if one doesn't include the fact that Elijah would ring the doorbell and say "trick or treat" at almost the same time, which led to many awkward moments of silence when someone finally opened the door. But at least he always said "thank you.")

We went up and down the blocks in our neighborhood and collected lots of candy before the little guy announced he wanted to go home and eat some of his stash. The first thing he devoured when we got home was a large Hershey Bar given to us by one of our neighbors, who also happens to be our dentist. Do you think there is a connection there? As Elijah's chocolate- smeared face shows, it was a good night to be a tiger.