One small request

Let me start by saying I am not complaining about the metropolitan area I live in. In many ways, it's a great area. I live in a nice neighborhood with top-notch schools, and within a 20-minute drive on wide-open, virtually traffic-free interstates (for those of you in California, that's what we call our freeways), I can be at the downtown art gallery and entertainment districts, a theater, symphony, ballet or opera performance, any number of art-house movie theaters, several museums, an NFL stadium, a major league baseball stadium, a zoo and a large regional farmers market, just to name a few.

We have all four seasons, which to some people would be a deterrent but which I love. Spring means blossoms bursting out all over, summer means heat and lush green trees and grass, fall means breathtaking colors as the leaves change, and winter (if we're lucky) means enough snow to create quite a few snowmen and enjoy a few afternoons of sledding followed by hot chocolate in front of the fireplace. There's even a ski slope not far away, although it only counts as such if your definition of "ski slope" is a bit on the liberal side. We also have some picturesque lakes, for those who prefer their skis to be on water.

In addition, the cost of living here is, compared with much of the country, astonishingly low. It's not at all unusual to see young couples moving into beautiful new homes that people of their means couldn't even dream of owning if they lived on either coast. Quite a few people I know had their mortgages paid off, owning their homes free and clear, by the time they reached their mid-30s. And we're talking about people who work in my industry, which means -- trust me, here -- they don't make much money. (One of these days, I'll grab one of those sheets on the "for sale" real estate signs in our area and type in the description, and everyone reading this blog can guess at the asking price. We'll come up with some sort of prize for the winner -- perhaps one of those financial self-help books that are doing so well on the best-seller lists these days.)

Since I'm far from a member of the Forbes demographic, I don't read it regularly and haven't seen the article, but apparently the magazine has ranked our area as one of the best areas in the U.S. to live in. I won't specify which one we are, but suffice it to say that we could fall several notches and still be comfortably in the Top 10.

So really, I shouldn't complain. But would it be too much to ask for just one tiny thing? (Please note that I'm staying away from big requests, like a commuter rail system or a mountain range. They're both equally unlikely to ever happen here.)

All I'm asking for is a Trader Joe's.

At this point, half of you are nodding your heads in sympathy for anyone who doesn't have frequent access to one of these wonderful wine-and-food emporiums, and the other half of you are saying, "Huh? What's the big deal?"

I'll tell you what the big deal is: I am sick to death of the pretentious wine and organic food markets that are spreading across our city's landscape like a plague. I just want a simple, down-to-earth, reasonably priced wine store that has a good selection of natural foods presented in an atmosphere where you don't feel the need to wear designer clothing and drive a luxury automobile just to pull into the parking lot. Trader Joe's fits the bill perfectly.

I'm so desperate for one in our area that I once actually pestered Jeff into calling their corporate office to inquire about franchise opportunities. Turns out that they don't franchise. OK, fine. But why can't they open one here? They are, after all, spreading across the country at what seems to be a fairly rapid pace, and they can be found in many cities that are much, much smaller than ours.

So, if you're a Trader Joe's wage slave (or lawyer) who has somehow come across this, please send a message up the line. Put your phone number in the comments section of this blog, and I'll call you and tell you where I am. And do plan to stop by our low-cost-of-living, high-disposable-income demographic area. You might like what you see.

It's my one small request.