Buyout blues

Things are fairly grim around the office these days. As you may recall, my company is in the process of significant downsizing -- again. Our departmental meeting last week consisted of exactly what we knew it would (which is good, considering that about half of us could barely hear the proceedings because our ears were still ringing from the Springsteen show the night before).

According to the official announcement, the "majority of" employees are being offered buyouts. Apparently "majority of" means every full-time employee who has been with the company for at least one year. Given our very low turnover rate, that's a hell of a majority. Somewhere upward of 90 percent, according to the office grapevine (which, by the way, has a pretty impressive record of accuracy. We're journalists, after all!)

The hope, we are told, is that enough people will participate in the "voluntary separation program" that there will be no need for an "involuntary separation program." And we all know how ludicrous THAT hope is.

As luck would have it, this announcement, along with the accompanying stacks and stacks of ominous-looking manila envelopes, each bearing the name of an "eligible" employee, landed with a thud on the very day that my status shifted to part-time.

That means there is no decision for me to make. Now that I'm part-time, I'm not being offered a voluntary separation. And I have no control over the possibility of an involuntary one.

So I just proceed as normal, while all around me, talk turns to the merits of the various buyout options and the mysteries of job-hunting in the year 2008, such as as: Do people still actually use paper resumes? Or resumes at all? Do online applications ever really get reviewed? Do employers prefer to see a full-blown Web site detailing every accomplishment you've had, as well as links to any reference to you anywhere on the Web, not to mention all your favorite blogs and other sites? Let's hope not, because if the dreaded "involuntary separation" comes my way, the closest thing I have to a Web site is this. Heaven help us all if my career options are shaped by what's written here!

In any case, it's an interesting time. When you're in the situation we're in, all the normal rules of professional caution pretty much go out the window. I've seen people engaged in heated arguments with people who are several levels above them in the hierarchy. No one seems audit their own conversations regarding plans to leave, and everyone who is looking for work feels pretty free to let the boss know about it. Unless, of course, you have reason to believe that your boss is closing in on an interview for the same job you're angling for.

But there IS a bright side: I have finally reached the point where I can get up and walk out at the end of my shift without the slightest bit of guilt for things left undone (a very handy approach, considering that I now work one short shift a week in which I leave four hours before everyone around me does). After all, my reason for switching to part-time was to get more sleep and to stop sacrificing my health. There's simply no point anymore in giving up so much of myself to an industry that has nothing to give back.

For those of you who really couldn't care less about my professional tribulations, I apologize for going on for so long. (But why are you still reading, anyway?) And for those of you who really are just interested in how Elijah's doing (Hi, grandparents!), he's doing just fine. And he's turning into quite an impressive little artist. Jeff has scanned some of his drawings into the computer, so I'll be posting them within the next couple of days.

Right now, I think we're off to the park. We're fortunate to live in a city that has a great number of free outdoor performances of the symphony, ballet, etc., in the summer and early fall. It's part of an outreach effort to introduce the arts to the great unwashed masses (like us). And as a mom, it is my duty to make sure Elijah experiences such things. (Jeff and I long ago worked out a list of parenting responsibilities in which he is in charge of sports and rock-n-roll, and I am in charge of classical music and the performing arts.)

So it's time to stop thinking about work, stop thinking about resumes and stop thinking about all the things on my to-do list. We're off to Ballet in the Park, where we'll be in a beautiful rose garden surrounded by elegant fountains and enormous trees. A good break for the soul.

Thanks for checking in!